The Sweets

Sunday, January 22, 2006

I'm So Wrong


I know I'm wrong, but I need this therapy yall so bear with me. After all, this is my journal.

So remember last post when I was talkin bout how my ex was down on his luck after he lost his job? Well, I kinda felt sorry for the ni&&a, so since I had a lil money to spare I decided to donate to the needy. Well, I give him a call to get his address because I had lost it. (long distance relationship) I was going to mail him a check. I wanted to surprise him because I'm just "sweet" like that. He didn't answer his phone so I left him a message asking him for his address.

Don't you know this asshole calls me back talkin bout why am I callin him. He thought he told me that he wasn't tryin to talk to me anymore. WTF?! (I flipped out somein crazy) I was like, ni&&a I was just callin you 'cause I felt sorry fo yo a$$. The only reason why I wanted your address was because I was gonna mail you some money. And last time I checked, you called me last. Ain't nobody tryin to rekindle nothin with yo ugly ass.

Yes, I said that. Now let me tell you somein bout him. That is him in the pic. Now I was never physically attracted to dude but I never told HIM that. I just fell in love with his heart.(the heart I thought he had) I would never be mean enough to call someone ugly to their face; but believe me yall, he asked for it with his stank a$$ attitude. When I called him ugly, I swear, it felt like a ton of bricks lifted off my a$$. I know this sounds corny, but it felt so freeing. It was wrong but it felt so right. I guess cause I have such a hard time being mean to people. I guess a lil part of me (a lil devlish part) had been wanting to say that for sooo long but couldn't because that wasn't the nice thing to do. And at the time, his looks didn't matter because I loved him. But now I don't give a fuc# so I called him ugly and I stressed the word uuugly. I guess I held that word in every time we got into an argument for the past 3 years and now I've let it out. I know it sounds childish but it was therapeutic for me. It was for all the times he mistreated me, neglected me, and even for that one time that he cheated on me. He's an ugly muthafu&8a; and if you see him, grab your kids and run. Now, that is the last time I will post somethin bout his crusty dusty a$$ cause like Trina, I'm too fly for this shit.

Posted by AlwaysSweet :: 3:32 PM :: 12 comments

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